Posted by Dreamer at 09:44
Read our previous post
“Within the periphery of the
utmost thoughts, my inner console has given up. All these years of
transformations has driven out the peace inside me. I became a relentless
wanderer and a warrior of these social hypocrites. No wonder how far I have
made my etchings are still unclear.
Wherever I go I envision the
mass, the mass without latitudes and without hunger. With their red eyes, their
thirst couldn’t be concealed, yet they are dreadfully thirsty. Yes, I am petrified
with this eternal thirst shoving sluggishly towards, could it engulf me”- um……
I gazed through the audience and couldn’t narrate the lines further.
No wonder this is not my first
time, I have never narrated this to the end. As always, I am amused and then,
recollected-- I was in grade 10 when I wrote it and was super excited to narrate
this in front of the valued authors who have visited my school for an event,
and there I narrated it avidly. I knew it was my hundred percent but I collapsed,
at the same point as today.
Mr. Birag, Mr. Birag, the Mc was
calling me from behind, Are you alright? I nodded and he said, - well then
please, carry on. I skim through the mystified audience, and handed the mic. In
a moment, I slide down the stair and was already out of Nach ghar.
I left the venue, lit my
cigarette, and was already walking towards Ratnapark. I stopped for a while,
leaning on Ranipokhari’s boundary wall and tried to gaze in the pond, with a
puff, I blew the smoke into the air, as a rocket towards the sky. Sadly, the
smoke didn’t accelerate as a rocket but it slowly started to scatter and
coalesces with the air.
There was no choice, no choice
for smoke! The essence of turmoil lasted till I was inert and asleep.
I woke up as a lazy dog, made my
black coffee and there I sat with a blank mind. What do I expect? In a warm
sunny Mangsir day, enjoying the bitterness within the sweetness, and just basking
in the sun. The nightmare was over, didn’t wanted to indulge myself on same
thing. What a man want in a life?
My mind forcefully makes me ponder
on my poignant state though how hard I just tried to bask. I know, I am unable
to relate. I know, I will find the answer that day when I would be able to
differentiate between killing an infant who have gone through many surgeries as
eight and have several infectious organs or giving that infant a life, which
would be a right thing to do.
My secrets are within me, I can’t
reveal but I can’t run away from that narrative, it provokes me, as a lump in
my throat, which I can’t repudiate.
“The paradigm of bubonic plague,
the lewd thirst, has gulped down the generation. But has it transmuted too?-to
a filthy genome? Or, it is lingering to the annihilation. “
The egalitarian bilkers of this
country, the elitist of this republic, and the Diaspora of mass, whip up all, they
are homogeneous, they are identical, and they are parallel.”
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